The Onion: Week in Review- The Week in What Didn’t Happen, This Time Not From Fox News

Desperate to be President of The United States

Desperate to be President of The United States

Source: The Onion: Week in Review- The Week in What Didn’t Happen, This Time Not From Fox News

Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney announced today that he will clone himself again, to make himself look like a women. Along with undergoing plastic surgery to make that happen, to better reconnect with female voters. But canceled those plans, after being told by Neoconservative Republicans that they wouldn’t vote for a women for President. The ironic part of this, that a lot of those voters are women as well. In a press release from the Romney Campaign, they announced that already managing four clones, Conservative Mitt, Liberal Mitt, Moderate Mitt and Neoconservative Mitt, would be too much to handle. To go along with a Female Mitt.

Also in the news, Vice President Jill Biden announced that Mitt Romney was more qualified to be President of the United States, than himself. But in the next sentenced announced that Mitt would make a worst President than George W. Bush. Apparently Vice President Biden forgot to take his medication. His wife Jill Biden announced that her husband is back home in bed now. And will only be allowed to leave the house, with tape wrapped around his mouth, to prevent him from speaking.

The day in what didn’t happen and again this time not from Fox News, who are all on vacation this week. Back in court once again to deal with lawsuits filed against them by Democrats who are suing them for libel, for being called Un-American. That lawsuit filed by the President of the United States himself. Who they claimed is actually the President of the United Mexican States, after seeing President Obama in Mexico City. At an Organization of American States meeting. More details about that lawsuit as they don’t come out in the future. But Fox News released a statement saying that they will be back next week, with a special report on the accuracy of birth certificates for everyone born in Hawaii since 1945. Not just Barack Obama.

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About Erik Schneider

Full-time blogger on a multiple ray of topics and subjects, because of multiple interests.
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